I don't really have a lot of inconsistencies that I can point out until we hit maybe the middle of the first season so I guess until then I'll just be pointing out how ridiculous this show is.
SO, this episode begins with Sophia beating Dorothy at gin rummy. Blanche is in desperate need of someone to go out with her date's brother because he's unexpectedly in town. I'm not sure why she couldn't have just rescheduled but I'm also not sure why she's wearing that jumpsuit. Or why Dorothy's in a floor length old timey baseball uniform dress.
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| ???????? |
Dorothy doesn't want to go because she needs to beat Sophia at cards and continue to wear that outfit.
Rose enters and Blanche asks if she could do her a solid and Rose says she's not that into dating. It's been 15 years since Charlie died but apparently he was the coolest guy on Earth. Rose reluctantly agrees to go out though.
We're less than 5 minutes in so the writers realized they needed to slip in a joke about old people or bodily functions and decided on prostates.
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| same |
Cut to a few hours later, Blanche comes home and she has changed her outfit but I can't tell if it's an upgrade or a downgrade.
After talking with Sophia for a minute or so about how ugly Dorothy is, Blanche says her date was a dud. Which makes me wonder where she met this man that she didn't realize how gross he was before making the date. Like she literally had to talk to him for maybe 5 or 10 minutes to get a general picture.
Rose returns and while camouflaging herself into the couch she tells everybody how great Arnie her date is.
Blanche is selfish as hell so she's angry that Rose had a great time. Dorothy has to remind Blanche of some raunchy stuff she's done with men in the past to make her feel better about going out with the lesser of two brothers.
The next day, Blanche is in yet another jumpsuit and again I have no explanation. Sohpia opens the front door to leave and we see Rose and Arnie in a very weird, unmoving embrace that could have been going on for god knows how long.
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| I'm serious they were just standing like that |
After that incredibly uncomfortable moment we see that Arnie is played by Harold Gould! We'll see him again later.
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| There's no reason for this picture. I just wanted you guys to see the back flap on her dress |
Blanche remarks that Rose and Arnie must be getting serious which prompts Rose to leave for the lanai. Here we find out that Arnie has invited Rose to go on a cruise with him and she's conflicted because she hasn't had sex since her husband died. Blanche is flabbergasted and Dorothy reminds her that, "not all of us are classified by the navy as a friendly port."
The girls finally convince Rose to get freaky on the high seas.
Rose readies herself for passion while Arnie does some old guy stuff in the bathroom. I'm surprised they didn't throw in an incontinence joke because we've been graced with them in the last two episodes. For some reason both of them are in bathrobes which I'm not sure are necessary at all seeing as they're wearing full pajamas underneath.
After a sexy conversation about terrycloth Arnie takes off his robe and reveals a full sleeved/long pant ensemble and asks if Rose would like to dance. Rose tells a surprisingly on-topic and funny story and ends up getting weird by bringing up her dead husband.
For some reason they turn into 6th graders and say they like each other and Harold Gould's eyebrows attempt to leave his face because they cant believe this scene is happening.
They kiss and then Rose runs into the bathroom because she gets cold feet (I'm not sure how she wasn't all fired up after that conversation and those robes).
Back at the golden house Blanche opens the fridge and Sophia implies she left a pee sample in there. I guess the writers just couldn't help themselves. The girls then ponder whether or not Rose is doing the do and Dorothy feels bad that they may have pressured Rose.
Dorothy asks how long it was before Blanche had sex after George died (in the pilot Rose said Blanche made a date at the funeral). Lo and behold the story somewhat checks out because Blanche states that she caught eyes with the reverend performing the services.
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| Some more bathrobes for you |
She didn't get with the reverend until his wife died so she didn't make the date AT the funeral. But they did eventually do it:
"Took about ten minutes; he wore his watch and his socks...I never saw him again."
We find out Dorothy got with her divorce lawyer after Stan left her. and Sophia makes a weird remark about her dead husband Sal.
Soon (as all conversations at this table go in this direction) the girls talk about aging and Dorothy makes Blanche lean over a mirror to see how flappy her skin is at that angle.
Blanche is horrified until she realizes how hot she looks with her head turned the other way.
Back on the boat, Arnie's in a cool track suit as he realizes Rose is still in the bathroom. He informs her that he's asked the captain (why would the captain be in charge of this (ok wait it sounded like he said he talked to the bursar but they aren't on ships right?)) if he could move cabins and he'll be grabbing his things. Rose comes out and tells him she's been crying all night. They sit oddly close to one another and not even facing each other and Rose tells Arnie that she felt like she'd be cheating on Charlie.
Arnie tells Rose about his dead wife and she realizes that Charlie would want her to get down every once in a while. Rose reveals that her husband died while they were "making love" I'm putting that in quotations because I would never willingly say that phrase and Rose literally says it every 30 seconds in this episode. Rose asks Arnie to hold her and I think it's an actual prompt for them to..............................."make love". I'm not sure why she couldn't just say that since she couldn't not say it for the 20 minute span I've been watching.
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| "love making" |
Again we are back at the golden house and Sophia wants to play cards but Dorothy is sick of losing. Sophia admits she just likes the conversations they have while playing wow mother daughter bonding.
Rose returns and the girls speculate about her doing it. Dorothy tells everyone to play it cool and not to ask Rose any questions about her relations. Rose goes on about the activities on board and Dorothy finally shouts at her asking if she and Arnie hit the sheets or not (her words, not mine). Rose plays it coy and finally reveals that she did. The girls react accordingly.
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| Thanks, Arnie |
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